My first encounter with depression

 The word "depression" had always sounded foreign to me. My notion was that it wasn't a psychological condition that happened to Africans. But an experience triggered it and changed my view.
I did not even realize what it was until it hit me hard. it wasn't surprising however that the condition set in, I have never been one to handle failure or loss in a competition with smiles. So on this day, when the audition had ended, we(the participants) were told to expect confirmation messages if we were qualified for the next round. I cannot say I did my best because I did not but I felt I had passed enough to qualify. So, when two days passed and no message, I tried to convince myself to no avail that the organizers probably delayed in sending the message. Kanni advised me to contact one of the organizers and know what's up? I did and he said it will be sent at night. Evening came and morning came, yet it wasn't forthcoming. Evening was nearing again and that's when it came, in form of anger. I was angry at myself because I would have been 100% sure I would be eligible if I hadn't missed a single step during the audition. I felt dumb. I was angry at Blaq, I couldn't find succour on his shoulders because at the time, our relationship was lacking depth, it was all about making out and movies. I stayed the whole day brooding, checking my messages and wishing i could go back in time to redo my mistake at the audition. If only...And all of a sudden, I burst into tears, I turned the other way so Kanni wouldn't notice, I mean it would not have been so bad if it was something I was new to but to lose at an audition for an activity that is a part and parcel of me was nothing to write home about. When Kanni noticed, she tried to cheer me up and eventually ended up shrieking with laughter...You know the funny part of this is that after three weeks when the memory was fast eluding me, I received a call apologizing for their mistake, there was a mix up in my phone number. Truth is, I participated up to last round of the competition, I enjoyed it but it wasn't worth the beating I gave myself.